wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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