you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
