Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
