it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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