it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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