Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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