Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
