my vag is so smooth its legendary
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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