youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
