god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
