Nicole vs. Life
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
