are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
