You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
