Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
