all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
