guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
