She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
handjob tips. give me some.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
