is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I cut my penus on the lid.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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