That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
