This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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