I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
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And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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