Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
