I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
