My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
