Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
