Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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