do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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