Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
