yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
