STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
