There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
