I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
