is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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