i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
