Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Send help, water and tortillas.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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