Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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