So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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