i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
