it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
