I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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