Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
