I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
well you can't waste a boner
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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