Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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