3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize