kristin has been a bad kristin
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
