all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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