Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
