i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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