I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
