This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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