Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want her autograph on my taint
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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