Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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