I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
