a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
