There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
