made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
