I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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