come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
