I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
