The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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