VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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