You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
