im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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