chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
