yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
