That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
