i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
