I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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