Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my being single is dangerous.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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